Well this is the week I re-join the fight against my cancer. It as been an awesome two week vacation from facing the realities of this disease. I’ve been living the fantasy life: spending time with the family, taking 2 mile walks, visiting with friends, eating a more normalized diet, working 40+ hours at work, mowing the lawn, raking leaves, talking politics, playing baseball with the kids, going to dinner with my wife, worrying about Jaxson’s health, going to church, paying attention to Fantasy Football and trying hard not to focus on cancer. But as they say, all good things must come to an end. I’m guessing that I am like most other cancer patients in that you wish you could get back to being/feeling “normal” as quickly as possible. You either want to go backwards or fast forward with your life, but you are stuck in “play”. Life has been so “normal” that I have missed both of my cancer support groups this month. One of them I was busy finishing up my 11 hour work day and the other was tonight. I realized about a mile into my walk that the church support group had started about 30 minutes earlier and I was missing it. Again I think I have just been having too much fun pretending I’m “normal”.
I did get another kid question yesterday (this one wasn’t as tough as Jaxson’s last week). I was pushing Brenden (the 5 year old) on the swing in the backyard. Brenden looked up at our roof and asked where our chimney was. I pointed to the small back one coming from our gas fireplace. He then asked where each of the two neighbors chimneys were. Having no idea why he was suddenly so fascinated in chimneys, I just pointed out where there two small/skinny chimneys were located. He then was quiet for a minute and then asked, “How does Santa fit into those small chimneys”? I stepped right into this one. Now I was tempted to take this opportunity to explain that Santa wasn’t real and that it was just Mom and Dad pretending to be Santa. After all he is 5 and I am guessing some kids in Kindergarten may spill the beans, and I would rather he hears the truth from me. But since I hadn’t worked that out with the boss (Karen), I decided to do with what any other red-blooded American parent would do-Enhance the lie. I explained to Brenden that Santa was magic and could shrink into any size chimney. He decided that was a good answer and kept right on swinging. Who am I to question his reality. For the past two weeks my reality has been pretending that I don’t have cancer.
Reality bites back with Chemo. on Wed. morning-time for some cancer cells to die!
Thanks for all the thoughts, cards, gifts, comments and prayers. All of them help! I have been so touched by all the great comments-of course I read them all as does Karen.
May God’s blessings be upon all of you-thanks for reading.