This slideshow, set to music picked out by Chris, was played at the funeral. We wanted to share it with all of you.
Monthly Archives: March 2011
So as some of you don’t know, my children don’t read the blog very often. Sometimes Chris or I would/will ask them about a post or get their thoughts on something we are working on, but for the most part, it’s not something they look at very often. But Brenden did read the last post on the bowling. He read it and gave me the Brenden Baty “what’s this all about?” look. I asked him what the look was for and he replied “thunder is caused by the heating and cooling of air from lightning.” I said “that may be true in science, but I like to think Dad’s up bowling with his Grandma Baty.” He thought about it for a little while, as Brenden does, and then replied, “then the lightning must be the spark from the friction caused by the bowling pins hitting each other.” “Excellent idea!”, I said. If we are going with the bowling theme, we might as well go all the way with it. So as the last storm hit, Brenden would say something like “That must have been a strike!” if it was a loud thunderclap with lots of lightning. It’s fun when he can take an idea and run with it.
On another note, we are doing o.k. The boys and I went to my parents lake place this past week since they were on spring break-or I should say “winter’s back” break.(It snowed about 10 inches there.) My parents place is kind of a safe haven for us right now as Chris has not spent a lot of time there in the past couple of years. I would take them there when he had chemo so Chris could get some rest, peace and quiet. When he did make the trip, he usually did a lot of sleeping. The kids don’t have a lot of memories of Chris there, so they got a little more of a grieving break for a few days. We definitely have had our moments. Sometimes when the garage door opens, I think, “Oh, Chris is home.” Only to remember that he’s gone. The kids seems to have the most dificultly at bedtime, which I find interesting because that’s always been “snuggle time” with mom. I think it’s just a time in the day they’re not so busy and they have time to think about things. We’ve all had bad dreams, and our crying jags. I’m wondering how long it will be before I attempt to wear makeup again. My mom is still staying with us, which is such a wonderful thing. Sometimes it’s hard just to get out of bed, let alone take care of the kids and the house. My brain doesn’t seem to be functioning at full capacity. It’s hard to concentrate a lot of the time. I feel like a zombie for part of the day. I also don’t have a lot af patience(not that I had much to start with.) I hope that changes soon.
I’d like to thank everyone for their continued support the past week. My children and I appreciate that from all of you. I’d also like to thank our families who keep taking care of us through this time. I’m not sure what we would do without you all!
Peace to all!
For those of you who live in the south metro, Saturday night was pretty loud. Our first thunderstorm of the season started around 11:20 p.m.(at least when I woke up to a big bang.) If anyone read the comments from the last post, Carter Lempola had told his mom that Chris was probably pretty tired on Sunday morning from all the bowling he did with the angels(as his parents had told him thunder was really angels bowling.) I thought that was interesting as I had a similer thought when I awoke a few times during the night to the thunderstorm. My thought was Chris was bowling with his Grandma Baty. It’s a little known fact, at least to many folks in the Twin Cities metro area, that Chris was a closet bowler. He had his own ball, which had the name Bernice on it. Bernice was his Grandma Baty, and he had her bowling ball. Just a side note, he had his own shoes also. He lovingly took care of his ball and had it shined everytime we went bowling. When we bowled, he talked to his ball- “Come on Bernice, get ’em all for me!”
So on Saturday night\Sunday morning , as I lay in bed listening to it storm, I thought “There’s Chris and Bernice having a blast bowling the night away!” Although at one point I was wishing they’d wrap the game up so I could get some sleep- they were getting a little wild. I wondered if they shared the ball with Bernice’s name on it, or got their own new shiny balls. I also had a thought of what Chris would call his ball as he was bowling with Bernice. I bet Bernice won,as she’s had more practice in recent years. The last time Chris bowled was with the kids and myself and we had the bumpers up. Chris thought the bumpers were awesome as he started banking his ball off the bumpers to get many spares. I’m sure no matter if they used the bumpers or the same ball, I’m sure they had a great time.
I heard on the weather report that tomorrow night may be another thunderstorm, so I’m guessing it’s “game on!” for Chris and Grandma Baty. I hope they have fun.
Tonight’s post is a somber one, so you are forewarned. Today I buried my best friend. There’s a hole inside me that seems so incredibley huge, I feel as though I lost a portion of my body. We had a beautiful day and a touching ceremony. Everyone was absolutely wonderful, kind and supportive. Our family, friends and God circled around us and gave us strength. I’m feel so blessed to have such a support system that I know most people don’t have. It’s been such a comfort to know if I need anything, there’s always someone willing to give me a hand. It was especially important today, as I said good-bye to the man of my heart. I felt my heart break to pieces as my children said good-bye to their father with tears rolling down their little cheeks. I’ve asked God so many times in the past few weeks, to let me take on some of their pain so it won’t hurt them so much-as I’m sure both of my parents have felt about me. I’d do anything to make this better for them. My peace comes in the fact that I know Chris is with God, and not feeling all the pain any more. As we drove into the cementy today, Jaxson said “Oh, this is nice. Daddy’s going to be on the top of a mountain!” (The plot is on the top of a large hill.) Yes, Chris is on the top of the mountain, and he’s climbed a long way to get there. He made it to the top, and now he is getting his reward with God. We will all miss him and love him so much.
I will still be posting, as I’ve had many requests to do so. I feel this part of the journey is still a part to share. I’m not the writer Chris was, but I will try to do my best. Somewhere in my heart, I seem to hear him telling me to keep this going, especially for the people who are in the same place I am now. Thank you to everyone for praying for Chris and his family today. And I’d like to thank everyone for coming today or yesterday. It was great to see so many people who Chris loved so much. I’m sorry I wasn’t able to talk to all of you, I was trying, but Chris was loved by so many it was impossible to get to everyone. I wish you all a peaceful night.
I just have a little post tonight. Jaxson returned to school(Brenden hasn’t missed a day this week). The teachers have both been wonderful with both the boys. And of course the kids have been amazing with the boys also. Some of the children have made Brenden and Jaxson sympathy cards and it is just so touching. Despite the fact that the boys don’t really want to talk about their father’s death yet, they really appreciated the cards they received from their friends. The cards are so simply phased, but lovingly to the point, it brings tears to your eyes. I’d just like to throw out a big “Thank you!” to all the kids who took the time to do this for their friend. And “Thank you!” to the teachers who have been so terrific during this painful time in Brenden and Jaxson’s life. It’s nice for them to get cards from people their age.
Have a good night!
It always seems interesting to me when your life is being drastically altered, that things just keep moving along. The garbage still needs to go out, the car still needs gas, the homework still needs to get done. Something inside of you has just been flipped upside down, but you still need to go walk the dog. This is even more evident when you have children (especially my schedule obsessive eldest) that life goes on, despite the fact that Chris is no longer with us. Tonight, I will be doing a word hunt and reading a book about reptiles, along with bath time and snuggle time-shortly followed by prayer time. It seems somehow odd to me that I am planning a funeral one minute, and I’m sweeping the floor the next. Just some food for thought.
Hello! This is Karen again. I just wanted to let everyone know there is a visitation this Friday from 5 p.m. to 8 p.m. at the White Funeral Home in Apple Valley. The address is 14560 Pennock Ave, Apple Valley 55124. The funeral will be on Saturday at 11 a.m. at Hosanna Church in Lakeville (with an additional visitation before the service from 10 am to 10:45 am). Lunch will be following the funeral. The address to the church is:
9600 163 rd St. West
Lakeville, MN 55044
Thank you all again for your blessings and support.
Karen and Family