This weekend I photographed a wedding. It’s the first wedding I’ve been to since Chris’s death. I was working so I didn’t have a lot of time to ponder exactly everything that was being said, (I’m generally thinking about f-stops, lighting, photo ops and so forth). However, I did get a little teary eyed when they came to the death do us part bit. For some of us that parting comes way sooner than we think. I was giving it some more thought after church this morning. I have a number of friends that are having some difficultly in their marriages right now. I have a large variety of ages for friends, so the problems seem to differ quite a bit, as do the number of years these people have been married. Now that Chris is gone, I look at things through different eyes. Something the pastor at the wedding said made some sense to me, so I will share it with you. When you go to bed at night, ask yourself, “What did I do to make my spouse’s day better?” I think back to when Chris was alive and I remember him telling me almost every night, “Thank you for taking care of us today.” or thank you for doing this or that today. Most of the things he thanked me for were small, and I know at times a told him he really didn’t need to thank me for just doing what needed to be done. But now I see just how much those small things can matter. To him, me taking the boys to the park so he could rest was a big deal. To me, it was just hangin’ with the guys. To him, picking up the prescription on the way home from work meant he didn’t have to go out in the cold. To me, it was a five minute stop that I could probalby pickup a few other things too. So, my thought for the evening is remember the little things. Sometimes they help keep the big things from becoming so big. And give that person an extra hug and kiss every day, because not everyone gets the chance that Chris and I had to say goodbye. We never know if that person will be here tomorrow. Just think how it would be if they weren’t with you. Suddenly, taking out the trash may not be such a big deal.
I’m by no means saying Chris and I had the perfect relationship. Anyone who knows us can agree to that. I’m just trying to remind everyone to remember why they picked that special someone to walk down the aisle with, and say “I do.”
I’ve had a tougher week. Being sick never helps. I seemed to grieve more this week than the past few. I think there were a variety of reasons. For instance, Jaxson got his roster for his baseball team this week. On the roster has the moms and dads name for each child and a phone number to reach them at. Chris’s name is not on the roster, just mine. There was an empty space where the father’s name is suppose to be. I took one look at it and burst into tears.
Brenden has a spring concert coming up. It’s really his first school concert(other than his kindergarden graduation.) And I realized as soon as I got the note, that Brenden’s father wasn’t going to be there to see it. There’s a lot of end of school family activities coming up and I miss Chris going to those with me. I think that’s what it all came down to, I just really miss Chris. I’m sure we all do.
I have to get going. Lots to do before school tomorrow! Have a great week!
Hugs and Prayers!