Monthly Archives: March 2012

The End of the Day

Yes, I know. Two nights in a row. Pretty crazy,huh? We made it through the day. We were very busy, but it helped keep our minds occupied. I first want to thank everyone who sent us thoughts and prayers, special emails and comments on the blog. I know Chris is on everyones mind today. Tonight, I met the kids after school. Brenden had an open house for a young scholars camp this summer. Then we zipped over to Outback Steakhouse to meet Chris’s dad and stepmom and my niece,Caylee for dinner. Jaxson, of course, ate too much bread and drank rootbeer.(see lettes from Heaven post if you’ve forgotten what that means). After that, back we zipped to school for Brenden’s music concert, where my sisters and brother-in-laws and another niece, Adrianna enjoyed the concert. Then home for homework and popsicles. So, tonight the boys are having a campout in my room. I’ve probably got more stuffed animals and blankets in my room right now then any of you have in your house! But it’s cozy and warm. We did our prayers, sending Chris up his nightly hug and kiss and an extra “we miss you!” Hopefully, we will all get some good sleep as I’m sure tomorrow night will involve soccer and basketball after school.
I think we did pretty good today, all things considered. Brenden asked me last night if I would wake up crying today. I told “no, I don’t think so.” I had my crying jag last night. That’s sometimes a by-product of writing this blog. But it’s therapeutic for me. I also read through the many comments left on the blog on the day Chris died. It was beautiful how many people responded and the wonderful things they wrote about Chris. It’s something to show the kids again down the road, a tribute to what a terrific person their father was.
I would also like to sent out a big Happy Birthday to my friend, Angie! Also, a really belated Happy Birthday from last year! You’ve been a great friend and I hope your day was wonderful. Have fun this weekend! Also, Happy Birthday to Pat! I didn’t get your email until after the party. I hope your day was beautiful!
Well, I’m drained. Time to finish up a few things and get to bed. My kids are excited to wear shorts to school tomorrow. I hope everyone had a good day! I know it sometimes hurts to remember, but memories are to be treasured.

Peace and Love to all,

Karen

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A Year Gone By

Good evening to all! I hope you all got out to enjoy the beautiful day! I believe Chris had a conversation with God and said, “This might be a tough week for my family. Do you think we could give them some sunshine to make it a little easier on them?” And God says, “but Chris, they do live in Minnesota and it is tournament time. I usually throw a blizzard at them at this time of year!” But Chris has always been persistant. ” How about this year you just switch things up a little bit. Let’s give them a week of 70 degree temperatures and give them a break! While we’re at it, how about an 80’s hair band reunion? Let’s have Poison, Whitesnake, Def Lepperd, Motley Crue,…….”
Well, at least I haven’t seen any ads for any Ratt, Winger or Warrent. But the nice weather has seemed to put everyone in a good mood.

I’ve gone back and forth on what to post this week. Yes, tomorrow is the first anniversary of the day Chris passed away. The past month has been difficult for us. Even though the boys don’t remember specific dates(other than the day he died), it’s amazing how their sub-conscious seemed to hone in on the time when Chris started taking a turn for the worse. Jaxson has been having horrible nightmares. Brenden has been clinging to me. Neither of the boys really wants to be alone at anytime. They’ve both been moody at times. We’re working through it and they are doing fine. I’m just happy for the good weather because we’ve been able to go outside and play basketball and soccer. It helps keep their minds off things.

The past year has obviously been a year of healing and adjustments. I’m amazed at how far we’ve come. At the same time, I still struggle with both. As I am going through the healing process, I battle the job of being a single parent. I’m sure sometimes Chris looks down from Heaven and just shakes his head. After he died, it seemed we were in shock for a long time. Our minds just didn’t seem to quite accept he was gone. I felt a sort of numb for a long time. I feel like it was about last September or October before the shock finally wore off. We’ve been on a grief rollercoaster since then. But with the grief and pain, we are healing.
We have had some wonderful times in the past year. Our family trip to Colorado the boys still talk about. They want to go back to the mountains. They had fun in Texas. Going up to the North Shore last fall and playing football with their uncles and hiking with their aunts was enjoyed by all. Doing a Baty waterpark getaway was a treat for them. We have kept them busy!
That being said, of course they miss their father. They still talk about playing good guys-bad guys with him. They talk about how he was so good at video games. They remember how much he liked to listen to music. It’s also hard now because of the things they are forgetting.
So, I’m ending this post as I’m getting tired and my sentence structure is surely suffering. Send up a “hello” to Chris, as I know we will all be thinking of him tomorrow. We miss him and send our love to him. The boys and I send up a hug and a kiss to him every night with our prayers.

God Bless to all!

Karen, Brenden & Jaxson

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